Good Luck

Have you gotten one of those "Forward this in the next 7 minutes and you'll have good luck" emails? Of course, if you don't, something aweful is about to happen, right? Yeah, right. I've never been one to actually think for a moment that Microsoft of Disney will make me rich by forwarding an email. sending on a seies of sentimental pictures will not bring me love, joy or wealth. Clicking on the "delete" button will not ruin my life, buisiness, home or bank account.

What did get me thinknig was the whole sentiment of "Good Luck". There was a time when I used to wonder why I had such bad luck. Why did bad things keep Happening to me? What did I do to deserve this sort of "bad lcuk". Now, the truth is, I don't believe in "luck" - I have faith. People talk about the "Luck of the Irish" and clearly know nothing about Irish history. The people of my ancestry had faith - not luck.

I have a faith in my God that if I stop talking and listen, I will hear the ansers that I need - even if they aren't what I want. I have faith that the bad times aren't punishment, but preparation. I have faith that my God has a plan for me. That plan requires no luck - only faith.

This isn't to say that I am going to sit back and let life happen to me. Quite to opposite. God helps those who help themselves, right? I have been given all of the tools that I need, but I need to take them out of the toolbox and build my life myself.

Luck is for those who lack faith.

tightening the circle

I've been doing a lot of reflecting these last few days. I suppose it is the new year coming. One thing I realized is that I've really tightened the circle of trust around me. In the past, I've let a lot of people in and trusted them. I thought that since they were my friends I could use their support. Instead of support, I got a lot of judgement. Some people just cut me out of their lives. Some decided to trash me behind my back. Others thought they knew what was best for me and told me - incessantly - what I should be doing then got upset when I didn't do it. None of those people know what it is like to be me. they don't know my boundaries or my limits. I have only truly learned what they are in the last 13 months. I've learned to trust myself.

There are some friends who have accepted me as me and support me in my efforts to grow as a person. I have made some new wonderful friends who do have an understanding of what I have been through as they are dealing with similar issues. They listen with love and understanding and offer support and advice based on their own experience. They respect my choice to take their advice or not as I see fit.

So, if you haven't heard from me much or you haven't seen me hanging out at my old haunts*, don't take it personally. I've tightened the circle of trust and I'm not in a place to loosen my grasp right now.

*except H&C - that has been a logistical problem which should be fixed in the near future. see you soon!

A long overdue update

I know. I know.... I miss my blog - even if no one reads it, it makes me happy. The good news is that one of Santa's elves just told me a new laptop may be under the tree. (Actually, I Santa may set it up ahead of time and put a bow on the amoire for the kids to find after all the rest of the gifts are opened.) My very smart and very cool cousin Kerry just told me about the Disney Netpal and it looks perfect for the kids (and I can blog on it).


so, a quick round up....

Andy and Ryan are pretty much the same - just taller. They are both still in MMA, but Ryan is now a higher rank than Andy (D'oh).


Ryan actually is having his best year yet academically, but best of all NO behavior issues. Andy's grades are pretty good, but his effort is lacking. If he did more than the minimum, he'd have all A's. He is also going to get OT for his handwriting and they are having him work on typing to help him keep up cognitively - hence the kid friendly computer.


Colin is now in Pre-K and LOVING it. He was the only student in his class for a while, but now he has two new friends. They are going to increase his class time to 5 mornings a week - YAY! He is going to have such a great time. He wants to get on the bus every morning anyway. That will start after Thanksgiving break. He wants to take karate too, but we told him he has to go poopy on the potty first.... soon enough...


Todd is back in MMA as well. I should actually start with - Todd is back. there are no words to truly explain what the last year has been like for us. The changes he has made in himself are astounding. He is a new man, and trust me the changes are for the better. Our lives now are so different from what they were last year that it is sometimes hard for me to remember what it was really like then. Don't get me wrong, the insanity isn't 100% gone, but now it is just fun insanity - or kid related.


As for me... I don't know where to start. The new job is OK. The work is easy. The hours are... well they vary. I'm at the end of a 3 month night rotation now. The nights are sometimes hard, but it does offer me a lot of flexibility for the days. I am actually going to guest lecture at CCSU this morning and I'm looking forward to it. It is really amazing what opportunities have opened themselves up to me now that my decisions are based on my own desire.


how about some pics?


I am doing a BOTM on Ravlery and I'm assembling the strips and lap quilting them. The print fabrics are vintage feed sacks. This is the first strip:



The back pieced from the scraps

the first block of the next strip

scraps from that block for the backing strip

This is a top that I threw together last week from strips in my stash.

As you can see, I've been in more of a sewing mood lately. I have been knitting too, but mostly boring utilitarian socks for work.

I'm "it"

So, Meghann tagged me... 6 quirky things about myself... this is a tough one.. I've done a bunch of these before.. I even did 100 things about me... those were a few years ago and life in my world has changed quite a bit. As I sit here thinking about 6 new things, I'm finding they revolve around my kids. I love my kids and they do come first, but they aren't me. So.. 6 things about ME...

1. I dream about my knitting projects. really.. I got an awesome new yarn in the mail Monday and that night I dreamt about the scarf that I'll be making with it. Not the first time I've done that... seriously though.. REALLY cool yarn! (Noro Silk Garden!)




2. I have a very hard time making friends. I have been painfully shy my entire life. I still am, but I've learned to put on my big girl panties and deal (a talent I owe to Christine for teaching me). I was tired of saying "no" to everything because I was too damn scared to say "yes". I was missing out on my own life. However, since I spent so much of life not interacting with the world at large, I never really developed the social skills to make new friends. Andy's therapist suggested we teach him- explicitly - how to make friends since he seems to be deficient in the social skills as well. I'm all over that... as soon as I figure it out myself....




3. My birthday is in 30 days. What do I want? 2 things - 1) my husband to send me flowers at work (feel free to drop him hints!) and, 2) a pole - a dance pole. OK fine, call it a stripper pole if you must. No. I am NOT considering a career change. It is all about the exercise - both mental and physical. Think I'm nuts? check out http://www.sfactor.com/ I took an intro class and OMG I wish NYC were closer! it is such an empowering experience. I hope Sheila can find a way to bring it to the masses - or at least the 'burbs - sooner rather than later!




4. I spend about 2 hours a day commuting. I enjoy it! no- really I do! If I drove and had to sit in traffic while my SUV was idling away my paycheck, I doubt I'd feel the same way. I start my commute and my day with a short cardio workout by riding my bike to the train. on the train, I can get comfy and knit - which is my meditation - my zen. Then I walk out of the station and hop on a bus that drops me at the door to my office (I knit on the bus too). Repeat in reverse on the way home. It's all pretty relaxing and quite civilized....




5. I'm not a girly-girl. yeah.. I know... not new information. Here is the catch.. I wish I were. well.. maybe just a bit more girly.. I love wearing dresses a buying pretty shoes. However, I'd rather go barefoot and I never remember to put any make-up on.. sigh..




6. This has been a real struggle for me. I was tempted to go with the karate/soccer/hockey mom stuff, but that is more about my kids than me. I thought about talking about my knitting.. but I blog about that regularly anyway... I considered going the favorite book/movie/TV show/drink route - BTDT. I wanted to give my readers a bit more of the real "me".

now.. to tag my victims....

Kathy because the whole pole thing is her fault! thanks!

Cathy since she had such lovely suggestions for me she must have even better ones for herself...

Cynthia needs to update her blog some more too...

Adelina and maybe she'll post some more of her pretty glass too!

Heather always has something interesting to say - and she beat J. Lo...

Deb if she isn't too busy booking the ambassador's personal appearances. Go wish her blog a happy Birthday too!