tightening the circle

I've been doing a lot of reflecting these last few days. I suppose it is the new year coming. One thing I realized is that I've really tightened the circle of trust around me. In the past, I've let a lot of people in and trusted them. I thought that since they were my friends I could use their support. Instead of support, I got a lot of judgement. Some people just cut me out of their lives. Some decided to trash me behind my back. Others thought they knew what was best for me and told me - incessantly - what I should be doing then got upset when I didn't do it. None of those people know what it is like to be me. they don't know my boundaries or my limits. I have only truly learned what they are in the last 13 months. I've learned to trust myself.

There are some friends who have accepted me as me and support me in my efforts to grow as a person. I have made some new wonderful friends who do have an understanding of what I have been through as they are dealing with similar issues. They listen with love and understanding and offer support and advice based on their own experience. They respect my choice to take their advice or not as I see fit.

So, if you haven't heard from me much or you haven't seen me hanging out at my old haunts*, don't take it personally. I've tightened the circle of trust and I'm not in a place to loosen my grasp right now.

*except H&C - that has been a logistical problem which should be fixed in the near future. see you soon!

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