Freakin' Hormones!!!

for those of you who've never been PG let me explain about the hormones.. first of all most of what you see on TV/movies about PG & birth is complete fiction! but there is a bit of truth in the hormonal PG woman thing, but what really happens is that the hormones take normal emotion and amplify it. thing is.. it could be 10x it could be 1,000,000x or more... and you just never know when it's comming. so, if I get annoyed at you, it doen't mean it is JUST the hormones, it means that the hormones made it MORE annoying. got it? ok- good! don't ask me again! while I'm at it .. don't ask me stupid questions (no I'm not having twins, I know my baby is going to be big, and my uterus nad cervix is NONE of your business - unless you are Katy), do NOT offer me medical advice unless you are a trained medical professional and that advice pertains to your area of expertise. (ie: if you are a hospital security gaurd, you are NOT qualified to tell me I shouldn't walk up a filght of stairs! but if you are a Vegan Doc, feel free to suggest alternate protien sources..). and lastly... I do NOT need or want to hear how horrible your labor/delivery experience was (I'm sorry that your birth was not what you had hoped for, but that isn't my problem! I've done this before and I am intelligent and educated and my decision for a NCB is based on having a healthy alert baby and an easy recovery for me. I have nothing to prove and I really don't feel that I have to "prove" anything and for thaqt matter I really don't need to justify my choice to you!).

anyway, I've just been a wreck this morning... as you can tell.... I guess it is a 1,000,000x day... I got an email from an OL friend saying that she has her baby shower at work today and her friends are throwing a shower for her this weekend and she can't imagine what she still needs b/c her family shower (60 people!!!) was last weekend and she has so much stuff from her first baby, who is 3.... while I am happy for her.. I end up in tears! thinking noone loves me and that noone else is excited about this baby....

see... the thing is.. with your first, you have the shower and e/o has to throw in their 2 cents on pregnancy, birth and parenting... it seems like the whole world is excited adn e/o shows up at the hospital to see the new baby... then if you have another close together... appearantly the world seems to think this is an accident! that noone could possibly WANT to have 2 under 2! guess what! WE did!! and I've NEVER regretted it for a minute! and I wouldn't change it for the world! but unti he was born it seemed like Todd and I were the only ones excited about it. I didn't really need more "stuff" just a twin stroller that Mom bought me... so I didn't need a shower, but I felt like I was missing out on the celebration of that PG by not having one. only a handfull of people came to see us in the hospital.. oddly enough, it was mostly people who lived out of town but were visiting for the holiday (Thanksgiving weekend!).

now, I don't really think it is a secret that this PG was a bit of a shock to say the least and it came at a pretty stressful time too! but when you concive a child while you are using birth control only hours after having a Priest bless your home, you can't rule out divine intervention... this baby wasn't exactly in our plans, but we realize now that we really do need him... unplanned CERTAINLY does NOT mean unwanted! not in our house! but again, the world seems to think.. "oh. another one? how are you going to pay for college? where are you going to put another child? you need a bigger car!" and my personal favorite "Do you wnat three boys?" yes, someone really said that! actually 2 people said it to me in less than 24 hours! but you know we've thoguth of that too and those things - well except the last! - keep us up nights. but, he's going to be here in a little more than 10 weeks no matter what....

I got a few congrats e-mails from friends, and my "mommy" friends are really excited for us, and now that it has sunk in, the grandparents are pretty excited - at least the grandmothers are.. hard to tell with the Papas (men!). but the rest of the family really could care less. Todd's sister - who we are nt' speaking too (that's another post all togehter!) sent us a nice card. not one of his aunts, uncles or cousins has called, sent a note or an e-mail...

and again no shower to celebrate the PG... Mom promised one if I had a girl b/c I have no "girl" stuff. but I have no girl either... actually after 2 boys, most of what I do have is broken, worn out, stained, or too old to meet safetly gidelines (carseats). that is if it dodn't get water/mold damage from the fire. most of hte babystuff was in a closet directly below the fire... breastpumps and monitors short out with that much water and anything that absorbs moisture gets moldy... so I actually do need the stuff this time too..

So, now that I sound like a selfish spoiled child.. I'm going to blame it on the hormones!